Introduction
Barriers to Normal” Eating
1 - Why It’s Hard to Change Our Eating
(Help, My Mouth Has A Mind Of Its Own!)
2 - Reasons We Want to Eat Normally”
(Stop Me When I Get To Infinity!)
3 - How Internal Conflicts Prevent Us From Eating Normally”
(In This Corner We Have Me and In This Corner We HaveMe!)
The Seven Keys
4 - Create Lasting Change
(Can’t I Just Wish Upon A Star?)
5 - Make Conscious Choices
(How Come When I Lash Out, I Hit Me?)
6 - Feel Deserving
(When I’m Good I’m Very, Very Good and When I’m Bad I Head For The
Fridge!)
7 - Comfort Yourself Effectively
(I’m Better At Licking The Bowl Than My Problems!)
8 - Know What’s Enough
(Is Enough Ever Really Enough?)
9 - Manage Intimacy
(Can’t I Be A Super Attractive Invisible Person?)
10 - Develop a Healthy Identity
(If I Say Goodbye To My Identity, Will It Miss Me?)
Conclusion
11 - Resolving Internal Conflicts for Good
(I’m Gonna Sit Here And Break Bread With Myself!)
Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, M.Ed., is a psychotherapist,
international eating coach, national educator, and popular author
of four books on eating and weight. She is an expert on the
psychology of eatingthe how and why, not the what of itis best
known for her non-diet, eating normal” approach to making peace
with food, and has worked in the field of eating disorders for 30
years.
Her first two books set the stage for her "normal" eating series,
The Rules of "Normal" Eating (Gürze Books, 2005) and The Food and
Feelings Workbook, and she is also the author of What Every
Therapist Needs to Know about Treating Eating and Weight Issues
(Norton Professional Books, 2008) and Nice Girls Finish Fat (Simon
and Schuster, 2009). Her books have been translated into 10 foreign
languages.
Ms. Koenig practices in Sarasota, FL, moderates an online Food and
Feelings message board, and authors two blogs.
BOOK REVIEW:
Synopsis: "Starting Monday" is based on the simple premise that
when our behaviors don't align with our expressed intentions, we've
got a conflict going on, often outside of our awareness. Author
Laren R. Koenig helps her readers dig deeply into their psyches to
figure out what mistaken beliefs and needless fears are holding
them back from achieving their health and fitness goals. The
polarized feelings for disregulated eaters to identify and resolve
fall within these seven key areas: 1) create lasting change, 2)
making conscious choices, 3) feel deserving, 4) how to comfort
themselves, 5) know what's enough, 6) manage intimacy, and 7)
developing a healthy identity. "Starting Monday" first helps
readers unearth their mixed feelings in these seven areas, then
teaches them how to change their beliefs and behaviors to resolve
them. Using humor, plain talk, examples from her clinical
experience, reflection exercises, case studies, and homework,
Koenig lets troubled eaters know that their yo-yo patterns of
eating and self care are due to conflicts. She shies away from easy
answers and, instead, provides hope and concrete actions to
developing a permanent, positive relationship with food.
Critique: Informative, motivational, exceptionally well written,
organized and presented, "Starting Monday: Seven Keys to a
Permanent, Positive Relationship with Food" is especially
recommended for anyone wanting to improve their mental and physical
health through a more nutritional and balanced approach to meal
time decisions. Very highly recommended and instructional reading,
as well as an invaluable addition to community library Self-Help
and Health/Medicine collections, "Starting Monday: Seven Keys to a
Permanent, Positive Relationship with Food" is also available in a
Kindle edition ($9.99).
- Small Press Bookwatch; The Midwest Book Review July 2014
BOOK REVIEW: Starting Monday: Seven Keys to a Permanent, Positive
Relationship with Food by Karen Koenig LCSW, M.Ed. (Gurze Books,
2013, 288 pages) People repeatedly - but often fruitlessly -
promise themselves they will finally get their eating struggles
under control. When? Starting Monday! The title of Karen Koenig's
book refers to this familiar resolution, and she explores why
emotional eaters, filled with determination to improve their
hurtful behaviors, wind up failing time after time. In this, her
seventh book, Ms. Koenig offers a key approach for long lasting
change: people must confront that internal part of themselves which
is invested in not getting better! This is a book for those people
who yearn for weight loss and body satisfaction but may have
difficulty appreciating the conflicts within themselves that
sabotage and defeat their best efforts. Why would someone want to
derail their best efforts to be happy? Koenig shows readers how to
identify "the ouch of self-recognition" and to discover what blocks
normal eating. She describes seven keys to unlock your self-defeat
and create lasting change: 1. apply curiosity, self reflection, and
compassion to why you have been stuck. 2. make conscious choices
through the mindful focus of living in the present moment. 3. feel
deserving by exploring your family history which may have left you
feeling unworthy or deprived. 4. comfort yourself by reaching out
to others and develop strategies to cope with stress. 5. know
what's enough and pinpoint where you feel unsatisfied not only with
food but money, possessions, work, and relationships. 6. manage
intimacy by becoming aware of your fears of closeness and your
desires. 7. develop a healthy identity by claiming your most
authentic self regardless of weight. What are your beliefs, your
needs, your truths? In a lively, engaging style, Ms. Koenig
illuminates these psychological solutions to help you get unstuck
so you can live a fruitful and compassionate life every day of the
week - not just Starting Monday!
Book review submitted by Mary Anne Cohen, Director of The New York
Center for Eating Disorder
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BOOK REVIEW
Karen Koenig has written a book for anyone who has ever experienced
dysfunctional eating in his or her life. It is a book that will
resonate for either the person who works with people that may
struggle with food and body issues, or has had issues of his/her
own. (And let’s be honest, who hasn’t in the world in which we
live?!) It is a must read for all social workers to better
understand our own relationship with food and our bodies in order
to better help our clients. This is not a book about eating
disorders. But it is a book that will help anyone who strives to
have a better relationship with food. Karen provides a step-by-step
guidebook on how to manage your eating and emotions.
One of the aspects of Karen’s book that I love is that it is light
and fun, while also providing concrete advice and helpful homework
assignments. Karen uses food analogies to clearly represent her
points while also showing us the connections food has to our
emotions. For example, Karen speaks about marinating” our- selves
in pride or nothing tastes” as good as pride. This spirited way of
speaking to the reader is compelling and engaging!
All of Karen’s books examine our issues with food from a strength-
based perspective. Instead of calling ourselves lazy”, Karen
suggests that we acknowledge having ambivalence or conflicts about
our relationship with food. She teaches the reader how to reframe
one’s beliefs and helps us to understand the identifiers for when
we are having difficulty with all or nothing thinking,” (for
example, I am good” if I eat fruit but bad” if I have a cookie).
We learn not only about the psychological components of our
relationship with food, but also about the biology related to
eating issues. This is a very important point, showing us that it
is physiologically impossible to talk our way out” of a binge.
Karen reminds us that there are many areas that require further
examination to have a healthy relationship with food.
Karen recognizes that our relationship with food and our body does
not only have to do with our actions. The media and our peers plays
a huge role in how we think about this topic. Karen challenges us
to fight society’s concepts regarding beauty” and quick
fixes”.
Reading Karen’s book feels like you are taking a class with her.
Karen’s relaxed writing style is lovely. She tells us to take deep
breaths and to be mindful of our response to her writing. She
acknowl- edges our discomfort in beginning to deal with these
issues and encourages us to take action so we can challenge some of
our beliefs.
Karen asks us many provocative questions about our own relationship
with food at the end of each chapter. This provides food for
thought” as we explore her questions and challenge our thoughts and
beliefs. Karen believes that people can have healthy relationships
with food and their bodies, and provides the reader with the tools
they need to get there.
I will definitely use Karen’s book in my private practice on a
regular basis. I hope you will too.
Reviewed by Beth Mayer, LICSW
PRESIDENT OF THE MULTI-SERVICE EATING DISORDER ASSOCIATION.
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